Gaming nerds since '99
Chuggst3rs are short-legged omnivores in the family Mustelidae, which also includes the otters, polecats, weasels and wolverines. They belong to the caniform suborder of carnivoran mammals. The 11 species of Chuggst3rs are grouped in three subfamilies: Newbsteins (Eurasian Chuggs), Smacktards (the American Chuggs) and Vanilla Chuggs (pasty white guy native to Waterloo).
Chuggst3rs favorite activities include playing video games with friends using increasingly eccentric setups and seemingly odd and imposible input device choices, as well as bailing on board game nights for suspiciously unbelievable reasons like "axe throwing horse back riding" and "Hip-hop, banjo & gospel choir fusion lessons" and "baking bread".
We're pleased to welcome Chuggs to our organization but remind you to keep a safe distance as Chuggst3rs are known to lash out if they feel they have no nearby escape route.
In American folklore, Tugeaux (also known as Tugs) is a simian-like creature that is said to inhabit forests, mainly in the Texas region. Tugeaux is usually described as a large, hairy, bipedal humanoid. Scientists discount the existence of Tugeaux and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, because of the lack of physical evidence and the large numbers of creatures that would be necessary to maintain a breeding population.
The most reputable sighting occured in 2016 in the Kitchener-Waterloo area. Witnesses (who prefer to stay anonymous, no doubt because of the shock and horror related to an encounter with a Tugeaux) described the creature as "jovial yet imposing". Some note that the migration path for Tugeaux from Texas to Canada was indirect, long and ineffecient and its survival was "against the odds".
USDN is happy to welcome Tugs officially as a member, even if your chances of sighting Tugs in the wild are unlikely.
The following member bios were recently resurrected from the original USDN, circa early 2001:
Long ago, in ages past, there was chaos on the Internet. Arguments raged on endlessly as to which FPS was the best to play, and the debate lead to horrible weapons of war being unleashed, such as spamming, flaming, and "leet speak".
From the darkness, a small mod appeared, called Counter-Strike. A young man, by the name of Akira, came along, fresh from his multiplayer training with TFC and his caretaker, Z3R01. Akira discovered CS and began playing it.
Counter-Strike grew, and Akira, now becoming more proficient in the ways of terror and counter-terrorism, decided he needed help. He joined forces with John Kelly, the man who would one day become the legendary Mr. Clark, a killing force unrivaled. Clark and Akira, both responsible for the then profitable FTP USDN, found their clan name in their enterprise, and proceeded to recruit members, both close and far away. The rest is long forgotten, but what is known is that countless were slaughtered from that day on.
Now Akira sits pleased atop the great server Killing Fields, smiling with the army that has been formed. He waits for Counter-Strike to allow 30 player servers, and then will lead USDN into the greatest bloodbath the world has ever known.
According to legend, long ago gods of the internet infused Captain Canuck's body with packets that have made him "twice as accurate and twice as fast as others". Captain Canuck put his powers to use as an agent of the secret branch of the OGL called [CATF] Canadian Armed Tactical Force. Although this organisation was successful at keeping armed offenders at bay, The Captain felt he had a greater calling.
Then, one day he was summoned to become part of a "Special Ops" branch of the OGL, code named [USDN]. He honed his killing abilities by studying under his protégées Mr. Clark and z3r01, revered masters of the CS arts. CaptainCanuck's colours are the white and red of the Canadian flag, and throughout his endeavours are reminders of the purity of the [USDN] cause and the blood they spill in it's wake.
With references to Ottawa instead of Washington, and Gooseman instead of Bill Gates, The Captain respects his opponents abilities but exploits their weaknesses in order to protect Canada against clans of evil CS bandits. In the path of destruction and carnage that he leaves behind, CaptainCanuck always looks toward the beacon of light that is [USDN] for guidance.
In the words of CaptainCanuck, "Forgive them Gooseman, for they do not have any skill". [USDN]CaptainCanuck....the man, the legend, the trained CS killer.
The story of The Metronome is one of great adventure, and yet also full of sadness.
Once a young farm boy, Metro's days were full of herding sheep and talking with a fake southern accent. Those days of happiness quickly disappeared as a group of vicious llamas randomly attacked his home, killing his parents and mysteriously eating Conspiracy's genitalia. Metro luckily survived the attack, yet he was set on avenging his loss. Sadly though, Metro later developed an addiction to pink hot pants, putting a pause to his quest.
The depths of Metro's life soon appeared as he was sent to rehab after he had told several young children that he was going to "rock their Kasbah!". In rehab, Metro met a young man by the name of Mr. Clark, who too, had it in for llamas and was forming a coalition to oppose those "silly bastards". Though afraid of Clark's constant sexual advances, Metro quickly agreed. Metronome now had a reason to live.
Alongside his fellow clan mates, Metronome now fights under the USDN name against the evil llamas and anyone who opposes the might of the Kasbah!
Clark's/editor note: This bio makes more sense if you keep in mind it was written soon after Wrath's "retirement night" on the Killing Fields.
Wrath stood there, pistol in hand and ready to go down that long corridor into the courtyard where the 10 Terrorists stood waiting for him. Swiftly Wrath proceeded through the corridor where he was met with heavy resistance. An unfortunate slaughter, those under the command of Wrath were all slain and Wrath was forced to retreat, the hostages never made it, Wrath had lost.
Wrath was later called in by his superiors to a complex where a nuclear missiles were targeted by Arabian Terrorists. Wrath's strike force made a quick dash into the complex only to be met yet again by a complete slaughter. Wrath had lost again as the nuclear missile was destroyed and the Arabian Terrorists had a new advantage over their rivals.
Wrath's superiors still had faith in Wrath. He was sent to stop the senseless murder of 4 hostages in a shipyard. Wrath dispatched his team to the front as he attempted to singularly swim around the shipyard and strike from behind. Wrath's team was again unmercifully killed and he was alone again. Wrath had to retreat.
Giving one last chance to Wrath, his superiors gave Wrath a stimulant needle which made his speed the same as most of the known Terrorist world. Wrath was also given a partner in Mr.Clark. They were dispatched to another Arabian Terrorist location where the two young warriors killed T after T. The legendary duo soon became known as The Wrath and Clark Connection as all who opposed them fell into the dust.
The two years of complete slaughter eventually led to the insanity of Mr Clark. Clark was sent to the mental institution and Wrath was again alone.
When Clark was sent away a young recruit codenamed Lithium entered the scene. The ambitious youngster was a great shot and saved Wrath's life on countless occasions. But alas Lithium was temporarily relieved of duty and sent to a desk job. Wrath had lost another comrade.
As Wrath led team after team of rookies he finally met up with his team mate of the present. Wader, a strong and tactful marine giving Wrath the perfect cover fire for almost every situation.
Sadly after all these partners Wrath slowly dripped into insanity himself. He no longer acknowledged the codename Wrath and only responded to "The Wrath". With his insanity his shot became that much more deadly.
Wrath's superiors who no longer received any acknowledgement from The Wrath, decided that it was time for him to retire. The Wrath was sent on his last missions between 8:30 PM on Monday the 14th and 11:59 PM EST that same day.
The Wrath was sent on a world domination tour alongside some old USDN members and newer recruits as well. Touring new complexes, and a few locations of old, Wrath was able to right old wrongs and prove USDN's superiority once again. Indeed, the Wrath and Clark connected again as they defended a nuclear base which was rebuilt on a site where Wrath had once lost a team. Things seemed to come full circle a that point. Unfortunately Lithium and Akira were needed in the middle east to handle a hostage situation, but their spirits were with Wrath on his last missions.
As Wrath, Clark, Killmore and Twocents were defending a bomb target in a familiar mostly dusty zone of USDN past, present and future, Wrath's time was coming to an end. Yet Wrath was saddened that his friend in arms, Wader, was not there. Suddenly, over the horizon, a Blackbird helicopter could be spotted. It was Wader! he had come back from his mission in Russia so that he could once again destroy with Wrath. And of course, they did. The terrorists had never received such a beating. Finally, the moment of retirement came.
While Wrath had accepted his retirement from the counter-terrorist world, he started to regret not arguing and trying to change the minds of his superior officers. He began to scream out that he would never leave USDN! But Clark knew that the Wrath's time had come, and while Killmore and Twocents defended their location, and although it was the hardest thing Clark had ever had to do, he knew that he would have to be the one to do it: Clark turned to Wader and demanded his AWP. Wader, confused, handed over the AWP to Clark. Clark whispered to Wrath "You know I can't let you stay Wrath, I'm sorry.." and with that he turned his sites on Wrath with the AWP. The first shot seemed to do nothing. He shot again and Wrath fell to the ground on his knees, but still breathing. Clark began to hesitate, but the Wrath saw this and knew it had to be done. He nodded to Clark, giving him the strength to finish the job. With one final blow from the AWP Wrath fell to the ground, never to get up again. The connection was over, an era had come to an end.
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