Let Me Robot You a Question - Chapter Two

Page 10

Watch now, little Jimmy. See how the temperature rises? Once the temperature reaches 197 degrees Fahrenheit the liquid will begin to boil, separating the compounds by virtue of their different boiling points and vapour pressures.

And then it will be ready?

No, Jimmy. We will repeat this process, distilling the liquid down to a more refined form. Then we must seal it in casks and allow it to age.

But when will we get to drink it?

Traditionally, these casks would have been left to age for a minimum of three years. But that was a long time ago. In another time the casks were made of sturdy oak. Before they held whiskey, they housed sherry, bourbon (which is of course a type of whiskey itself) or port. We use nano-casks now and the aging process has been reduced by a factor of one thousand. Our whiskey remains in the cask for 1.0957266 days.

Oh boy! Does that mean the batch we made yesterday is ready?

Cataldo looked up at the sun and then down at his watch, pausing for a moment.

Yes. Yes it does.

Yipee!

Cataldo watched as Jimmy grabbed his robopener and began prying the lid off of yesterday's cask of whiskey. Though pale and scrawny, Jimmy was a spry young boy with a surprisingly high tolerance for alcohol. Cataldo chuckled to himself as reached down for his soup ladle. There was a time in his life where he would have been shocked at the sight of an 8 year old boy drinking hobo made synth-whiskey. But now Cataldo had become fond of Jimmy's drunken stupors. The violent behaviour, emotional outbursts, and even the odd time Jimmy soiled himself had become humourous comforts for a man whose life had otherwise darkened. As Cataldo turned to dip his ladle into the cask he noticed a figure walking over the hill and down towards the train-yard. He squinted in the mid-day sun until he made out a familiar face.

Well ratchet my nut! Awkard, you old grease-bot! How long has it been?

Too long! Awkward replied.

The two men cheerfully clasped their hands together in mid air, as was the tradition of robo-gineers. At first it looked as though they might have a mid-air arm wrestle, but Cataldo's enfeebled and malnourished arm quickly gave way and he stumbled over, coughing.

You look... uh... good... Awkward commented.

Still bent over and wheezing, Cataldo replied:

I know.. I know... I've aged quite a bit since my days as a lecturer at Robigie Mellon. Things are... a bit different now.

Awkward glanced over at Jimmy who was now passed out, sprawled on the ground, his hand still clutching a whiskey-laden sippy cup.

I can tell.

Oh, don't mind Jimmy. He's a good kid. So what brings you out here to the hover-rail?

I've been hired for a job. I need someone to help me out. Someone precise; someone with robo-experience.

Cataldo removed his filthy top hat and shifted the brim between his hands.

You know I don't do jobs anymore, Awkward. I got out of that business a long time ago. I ride the hover-rails now. That's my life.

Awkward sighed.

I know. I know. Look, Cataldo, it's been over ten years since she-

YOU LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS!

Cataldo flung his hat to the ground and burried his head in face.

Dammit Cataldo you know that wasn't your fault! A screw got loose. It happens. There was nothing you could have done!

If I had measured the rivets more precisely... factored in the gravity... I could have...

Awkward placed his hand on Cataldo's bony shoulder.

Listen to me. It's not your fault.

The two men hugged as Cataldo released emotions that he had bottled up for nearly a decade.

I'm a different man now, Awkward. Even if I can put her in the past, I don't know if I can be the assistant you're looking for.

I've got someone too, Cataldo. Someone special. And if I can't get this project done then... well I don't know what. Let's just say I didn't exactly volunteer for this job.

Awkward motioned with his head to a large figure in a dress standing by a hover-limo holding a pistol with what seemed to be an extra-long barrel.

It would appear you've entered an unfriendly work environment.

Awkward nodded. I need your help with this one. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have with me.

Alright, I'll do it.

Awkward let out a sigh of relief.

Great. I'll give you some time to gather your things and we'll be off.

I don't have any things.

Uh... well then I guess we'll be off.

John stepped over Jimmy's passed out body and they walked up the hill towards the hover-limo. The transvestite opened the door to the limo and let them in, glaring at Cataldo as he entered. Once they were in the transvestite got into the drivers seat and the vehicle began to move.

Where are we headed? Awkward asked.

Mr. C has a compound outside of the city. I will take you there to be briefed, scanned, de-loused, and have uniforms issued. Mr. C is very strict about the uniforms. But don't worry, you'll be very comfortable. Of course, before we go to see Mr. C, we will have to return to your lab in order to retrieve... it.

The transvestite smirked as he spoke, which didn't sit well with Awkward. He didn't like the idea of meeting up with this Mr. C person so unprepared. As the limo pushed onward, Awkward noticed that they were headed towards the old Cylon Ravine. He remembered his college days, where Cataldo would give a lecture and simulation in the ravine about robo-combat. The ravine walls were dense, with narrow passages leading into a vast forest on the opposing side. If he could force the limo to crash into the ravine, he and Cataldo might be able to escape and regroup at Awkward's lab. But if he failed... Awkward glanced over at Cataldo who looked down at the ravine and then back at Awkward and then at the transvestite. Cataldo nodded.

IF YOU THINK AWKWARD AND CATALDO SHOULD ATTEMPT TO CRASH THE LIMO TURN TO PAGE 93.

IF YOU THINK AWKWARD AND CATALDO SHOULD TAKE THEIR CHANCES AT MR. C'S COMPOUND TURN TO PAGE 74.

RESULT: THE FORUMS VOTED FOR PAGE 93.

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