Let Me Robot You a Question - Chapter Three

Page 93

The hover-limo shook.

It is summer, 1986, and Wader is crawling through his father's garden. Sunlight broke through the pea plants and green bean stalks that towered over his small frame as he pushed his fingers through the wet soil. His overalls were caked in mud and later that day his father would wash them by hand in the laundry room sink. But in the garden Wader was not thinking about that. That day he was searching, pressing through what felt like dense foliage, and squinting through sun and shade looking for movement. Somewhere in that garden there was a cat.

The hover-limo careened towards the railing. He had lost control.

Now it is 1996. Wader is changing out of his boxing trunks. He had just won the tournament for his age group. In the final round he narrowly avoided a right hook and countered with a tremendous uppercut, breaking his opponents jaw. It was a proud moment. Later that evening his mother would take him to his first ballet. By the third act that Wader will have developed an affinity for the grace of movement in the ballet. He would begin to relate his admiration for the artistry of dance with the passion and physicality of boxing. Violence can be graceful. There is beauty in brutality.

The hover-limo crashed through the railing as Wader tried frantically to slam his foot on the manual breaks. Stilettos were a poor choice that day.

Wader entered the office, passing through two guards who patted him down. He thought this strange for an interview, but he also knew that Mr. C had a reputation as a cautious man. It is 2018. Wader had run a boxing gym for 10 years but was looking for a change. Though he loved training young boys and girls, he grew tired of being a teacher. He met Mr. C backstage after an early showing of Don Juan. Both were season ticket holders to the opera so they had seen each other on multiple occasions. When Mr. C approached him backstage the conversation was unlike any he had before. Mr. C did not bother to introduce himself. He looked at Wader and said 'you have have soft eyes but a violent heart.' He offered him a job interview and handed him a business card that doubled as a cookie. At the interview Mr. C explained he needed someone to perform special tasks. Tasks that required equal amounts of grace and force. Wader did not hesitate.

The hover-limo sailed towards the base of Cylon Ravine. Wader knew he didn't have much time. He thrust his hand under the dash, searching for the red button. His hand moved quickly until he thought he felt edge of the button. As he pushed the limo smashed into the ground and he was thrown out the side door, losing consciousness when his head crashed against the door frame. He woke only for a moment and heard the sound something metallic slowly dragging along the cold stone floor of the ravine. It was the last thing he would ever hear.

I think that's enough.

You can't be too sure. He may be a robot.

Robots don't bleed like that when their heads crack open.

Hmmmm. Fair point.

Where did you even find that shovel?

In the trunk. I think he was a gardener.

Cataldo put down the shovel and began to walk away from Wader. Awkward was on top of a pile of rocks surveying the ravine. He turned to Cataldo.

How did you know how to do that? In the hover-limo I mean.

I lived in a few old hover-limos. They look fancy but the wiring was never precise. If you overload the circuitry in the entertainment system it cuts the power to the nav comm. There is no real reliable manual control and the passenger safety features are located exclusively in the back. I guess rich people figure they can always get a new driver.

I can't believe we gave them a fourth bailout... Anyway, if we want to get back to the lab we have to head east. There's a sewer passage under the road that leads back into the city. Should get us close enough to scope out the lab before we--

There was a faint buzzing sound in the air as a round floater-bot approached Awkward and Cataldo. They turned and watched it get closer until it paused a few metres in front of them. An audio message began to play.

****INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM MR.C*** TRANSMITTING ***

AWKWARD. YOU TOOK SOMETHING FROM ME. NOW I HAVE TAKEN SOMETHING FROM YOU***

***PREPARING FOR IMAGE DISPLAY***

The surface of the floater-bot transformed into an image depicting what appeared to be a woman, tied to a chair, held at laser-point. The woman was motionless and seemed to be wearing an excessive amount of lipstick. Awkward's eyes widened.

Son of a fucking fuckbitch! If you harm one rivet on her body I swear to robo-God I will solder your face to your testicles!

***INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM MR.C*** TRANSMITTING***

***COME TO MY COMPOUND. COME UNARMED. WE HAVE THE PART FROM YOUR LAB. YOU WILL REVERSE IT AND INSTALL IT. SALLY BOT WILL BE SAFE***

Before Awkward could respond the floater-bot exploded into pieces as Cataldo crushed it with the shovel. He dusted off his hands and looked at Awkward.

I guess we're going to the compound. I know how much Sally Bot means to you. I'll help you reverse the part... whatever that is.

We are going to the compound. But we're not going to reverse that part. It's time to put an end to this.

Alright. But we're going to need help. There's a hobo colony that lives in the sewers. They're wild men but reliable. I know their leader, Johnny "Crazy P" Link. For enough synth-whiskey they'll help us storm that compound.

Awkward paused and looked towards the forest.

There is another option. Numbers has her lab in that forest to the west. I saved her life back in 2019. She saved mine in 2021 but then I saved her twice in 2024. And though she saved me once last year, she still owes me one. We could use her robo-plant army.

Cataldo leaned on his shovel.

I guess we have a decision to make.

IF YOU WANT AWKWARD AND CATALDO TO ENLIST THE AID OF THE HOBO COLONY, TURN TO PAGE 50.

IF YOU WANT AWKWARD AND CATALDO TO ENLIST THE AID OF NUMBER AND HER ROBO-PLANTS, TURN TO PAGE 150.

RESULT: THE FORUMS VOTED FOR PAGE 50.

Links

Original forum post

Chapter Two (<<) | Chapter Four (>>)