October • 2003
Freshly Squeezed Fruit, USDN Style.

Harry Angry After Going 9-14 on the USDN Killing Fields

Harry, at his computer, looking very pissed off.

WINDSOR -- Last thursday night Harry turned in a disappointing performance in online pub counter-strike, going 9 and 14. Harry joined the USDN Killing Fields thursday at around 9pm and with close to 15..
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Review: Sandy's Vagina
Stringy yet satisfying

Some of them are big. Some are small. Some seem to go on forever. And then there is Sandy's..
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Name & Info:
22-year old man
Kitchener, ON, Canada

Beating off to pictures of young girls.

Not quite legal twins, first names must be 'Mary-Kate' and 'Ashley'. Last name must start with 'Ol' and end with 'sen'.


Why The Police Gotta Be All Up In My Bidness?
Phrozor chattin at ya. What the fuck is up with the police in my area? Just because a brother is black don't mean hes packing an' shit. Walkin down the motha fucking street at 3 am, oh, hes black, hes..
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Malachi Let Back Into USDN
Pigs seen flying over South Hamptons

Love For "The Cock" At All Time High

Coaxial Discovered As Being "Really, Really Chinese"

Phro Kidnapped and Taken to London
USDN task force preparing for retrieval

Nowell Discovered As Being "Too Sexy"


Metrognomes Run Rampant At Historical Reenactment
Six months of preperation ruined

Witnesses look on angry and confused.

WEST PERTHSHIRE -- A local chapters reenactment of the siege of Potter’s castle in West Perthshire in Scotland was ruined Monday when an infestation of Metrognome’s proceeded to interfere with activities. The 43rd chapter of the Historical Reenactment society was performing their yearly siege of the castle, which included over 75 members in various positions as castle defense and attackers, when from beneath the ground hordes of Metrognomes began to pour forth. “I thought at first it..
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Clark & Wader Break In New Cat In Area
Foot fetish cats are on definite climb

KITCHENER -- The sordid duo of Clark and Wader are once again on the prowl, penetrating the puckered up orifices of neighborhood cats that are out late at night. The latest cat to become a notch on the bedposts of Clark and Wader is "Tiggers", a smoky grey cat with a penchant for slippers..
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  The Mango Volume 1 • Issue 1