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Harry Angry After Going 9-14 on the USDN Killing Fields
Harry, at his computer, looking very pissed off.
WINDSOR -- Last thursday night Harry turned in a disappointing performance in online pub counter-strike, going 9 and 14. Harry joined the USDN Killing Fields thursday at around 9pm and with close to 15 minutes left on the map, de_dust2, Harry joined the counter-terrorist team. While harry was able to start off 3-1 in the first round, he ended up turning in a lack-luster score of 9 and 14 at the end of the map. Harry left within two minutes of the next map, de_inferno, no doubt in shame, the sort of shame an asian man has after revealing his penis to his partner.
Harry described the incident, "I had a long day of doing nothing but watch soap operas while I was recovering from my surgery, I had just gotten the kids to bed so I decided 'hey, why not get in my game on'. I had high hopes at first, God I was so innocent then. I managed to get two knife kills while pretending to be a balerina in game, and then finished off a terrorist and his family near site b. But after that things simply went down hill. I ended up 9-14. So shameful. After the map changed one of my kids got up so I had to leave. After I simply drank the night away. But I don't have a problem, I could stop drinking ANY TIME I WANT."
FUSION was on the terrorist team and was disappointed in his previous leader's skills, "I use to believe in Harry when he lead me in WBC, but now, now I have no faith in him. He's disappointed me and I don't think I can get over it. Why Harry, why?!" Jerky, who was not on the server at the time, had this to say, "I think he needs more practice or something." Harry's wife also had input on the subject, "he's been drinking a lot more lately, always very angry, keeps mumbling something about hackers and 1.6 sucking. He also doesn't satisfy me in bed anymore." Scave had nothing to say because he is not important.
Harry had more to say (read: excuses), "I swear it's that bwomp kid. Fuck, he must hack, I know he does, he's a little hacking kiddie. That fucking guy. And it's everything else, my ping, 1.6, everything. And I tell you, if I had just had a little more time, I could have done it, I could have been someone."
When asked to comment on Harry's performance, Carl only had this to say, "When I was a kid my younger sister would beat me nearly to death regularly." Well, we don't know about you, but we think that's pretty fucked up.
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| The Mango | Volume 1 • Issue 1 |