Scientists confirm,
USDN script is "full"

A new report from quantum physicists working in Stockholm has released harrowing results, indicating the USDN script can no longer be added to.

HBO buys television rights to
"Let Me Robot You a Question"

HBO surprised many when it announced its intentions to turn a little-known piece of Internet fiction into a full budget television series.


Phro/Chupon to release joint album, "White people be trippin"

Poll shows 97% of USDN still support “Fucking Mark”

Blizzard announces new class for Diablo 3, "The Felcher"

Phro kidnapped and taken to Vancouver:  USDN task force preparing for retrieval, AGAIN

Numbers username spelt with letters, irony is lost on everyone

More headlines

Shadow creates first ever biomechanical ninja cow, declares "Moo"

Blizzard threatens to sue Clark for leaking actual Hearthstone cards.  Everyone including Clark is shocked.

Cockfuckery is similiar to normal fuckery, but with cocks

Holy shit, USDN members have had children, what the fucking fuck

No seriously, holy shit, they are married and everything!

USDN celebrity rejection letters re-mailed in error

Celebrities are reporting that they have received repeat USDN rejection letters in error, many years after originally being turned down by the clan.

Clark to reset USDN timeline with Bryan Singer's help

Mr.Clark is enlisting the help of Bryan Singer to help reset the "USDN franchise", consolidating and re-imagining clan members.

In relationships:

10 ways to tell if your man is a douchebag like me, Dr. Awkward

A very special letter to the editor:

A road trip with my father,
by Stephen Capa

USDN member submissions

Shit that I think is hype for like a month and then completely lose interest in  by Link

How I became a reclusive, germaphobe, billionaire that completely abandoned the community  by John Cataldo

Five hot new body hair styles for summer  by Akira

Getting out of commitments: It's as easy as making up fake excuses!  by Trademark

Gif angry while playing Battlefield.  Captain Obvious is on assignment for USDN.

Movie review:

Malachi's directorial debut a "Profound exploration of the human condition, manlove"

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Volume 2

Issue 1