Scientists confirm, USDN script is "full"

A new report from quantum physicists working in Stockholm has released harrowing results, indicating the USDN script is "full", and can no longer be added to, despite the wishes of Mr. Clark.  For years the script has sustained a heavy dose of haphazard jokes, half realized material, and homoerotic set pieces ranging from "subtle" to "depraved gay pornography".  Finally it can no longer take edits and notes, despite Mr. Clark's wishes.

"The other day, Clark mentioned how funny it would be if the alien cum was acidic but also sort of like a gelatin blob when it shot out.  I thought it was basically only a minor adjustment to his long standing bit, but he insisted on having it added to the script.  Well, when I tried, it did not go well," said Akira.

This image looked sufficiently "sciency" for this article.

It has been suspected for years the USDN script could only contain so many in-jokes, homosexual fan-fiction of USDN members and dated references to video games, but this concern was always ignored by Clark in favor of additional bits regarding satire of movies that were popular ten years ago.  "Clark has come up with literally thousands of pages of dialogue between other people and Fox, and all Fox says is 'Penis' to everything.  It is the same punchline for like, ten thousand jokes.  I am not sure what he hoped to accomplish with that, and I mean it all had to go somewhere right," said Akira.  "I once argued we could try trimming the fat, like I am not sure we need more jokes establishing that Phro is black, or that Anneveld gets off to Victorian era literature, but Clark wouldn't have any of it.  He just kept on going adding more jokes about Malachi and Proteus.  Who even remembers Proteus? Hell I barely remember who Malachi is."

"The other day, Clark mentioned how funny it would be if the alien cum was acidic but also sort of like a gelatin blob when it shot out."

- Akira

With a backlog of terrible jokes that have no place to go, the effects of the script being full are taking its toll on reality itself.  Without the ability to funnel ridiculous running gags and parodies of movies featuring penises somewhere, the elements that normally would go into the script have begun manifesting themselves in the real world, creating what scientists have dubbed "The Wettlaufer Effect".